The Known Secret
by the Whispering Lady
Summary: "Lily - why are you here" Remus gasped. "Why are you here?" Lily retorted bluntly. This is how what is known becomes Known.
1. Chapter 1

When Lily first began Hogwarts, she thought that every day would be interesting and full of fun. However, she soon saw that that was not the case.

It was a dreary day, and hardly anyone was paying attention to the History of Magic class, or even displaying signs of consciousness. As Professor Binns droned on about the formation of the Ministry of Magic, Lily glanced ahead of her, in a vain hope to see anything more than tilted heads and slight patches of drool. Exasperated, Lily peered to her right and left, straining to see each of her dorm-mates: Lupita, Anjali, Amelia, and Mary – all, sadly, fast asleep. Disappointed, Lily then turned behind her in desperation. Surely she wasn't the only one determined enough to give the class a fair trial before admitting defeat!

After a few moments of blind hope, Lily finally found what she so desperately wanted to see. Sure, James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew were all sound asleep, but the boy beside them –Remus Lupin – was , he was scribbling down notes, his quill moving with a ferocity rivaling that of Lily's own quill.

When Remus finished his paragraph, he looked up. For just a moment, his eyes met Lily's, and she blushed and turned back to the front of the class. By the time she had herself convinced that it was safe to look back again, his head was bent over his notes, and he did not look up.

At the end of class, as the other students were leaving (looking not a little relieved to escape), Remus raised his hand to give Lily a wave. She inclined her head in reply.

As Lily began to walk to her next class, she wondered idly when she would meet Remus Lupin again.

For the next three days, he was nowhere to be found. Just when Lily had all but convinced herself that seeing him on the train and in class were only wild figments of her imagination, she turned a corner to go to Transfiguration and there he was, leaning against the wall by the door.

Lily's first impulse was to walk past him to her seat, but a voice in her head stopped her.

Okay, it said, you need this, you know you do. And you know you can. You are in Gryffindor. It will be okay.

Before her mind changed again, Lily marched directly up to Remus Lupin, who looked over at her in questioning interest.

"So," she began, "I see you are looking for notes for the days you missed."

His face blanched and began to show concern.

"No, it's okay," Lily said. "I'm sure you have a good reason for missing class. I just meant that if you would like notes, here mine are."

With shaking hands, she held out her notes to Remus, who took them eagerly.

"I will give these right back," he said. "Thanks, Lily. James and Sirius are good students, but they don't take quite so many notes. And none in History of Magic."

Lily merely pushed the notes into his hand and headed to her seat, wondering as she did so why her tongue had seemed too clumsy to reply.

Remus and Lily saw each other many times after that, exchanging notes and studying together in the library. Remus was away for a family matter a few days each month, but Lily was too excited about having a friend in her House to steel herself to bring it up.


	2. Chapter 2

When Remus first awoke, he was startled to see a brilliant green. He blinked his eyes a few times in an attempt to understand. Then, in addition to the green, he recognized a dark red. He tried to think for a moment. Red and green, red and green. Christmas? No – Lily!

All of a sudden, Remus' vision and mind cleared, and the background showed that he was in a hospital bed, with Lily peering intently down at him. He could even make out Madam Pomfrey hovering worriedly in the distance. But –

"Lily?" he croaked.

Lily's green eyes became watery.

"Lily – why are you here?" he gasped.

"Why are you here?" Lily retorted bluntly. Gathering her strength for a moment, she went on.

"Remus, I'm here because I'm your friend. And I think I know why you're here. But you have to tell me."

Remus tried to form a coherent response. He managed, "why?"

He saw Lily's mouth begin to form a reply before he sank once more into oblivion.

Once Remus got out of the hospital wing, he went up to the astronomy tower to think. When he got there, however, Lily was there, waiting for him.

"Remus," she began. "Tell me about our friendship."

"Well…" he started. "I can stay awake in History of Magic?"

"No!" Lily snapped. Then she paused to think it over. "Well, yes," she admitted. "But now it is so much more than just that. You and I, we talk. You do things for me, and I do things for you. Problems seem smaller when we face them together."

"So," Remus asked warily, "what is it that I do for you?"

Lily thought. Then her face cleared, and she smiled.

"You make me feel better when I'm sad. You help me focus. You always, always believe in me. You look at things in ways I don't.

"What we still need in our friendship is an element of trust. Look, it's okay; I won't walk away. But you need to know that you can tell me anything, even this."

The tower was silent for a few minutes. Then Lily plucked up her courage and continued.

"Look, Remus, it's okay. I already know. You don't have to tell me. But I won't believe it until I hear it from you.

"You see, that's what we can do for each other. You can tell me you trust me with everything. I can make it easier to tell people. Since I already know, you know I'm not going anywhere. It'll take away your fear of losing your friends. And then, the next time you have new friends to tell, it'll be less scary because you've already done it. And, also, we can make the problem smaller by looking at it together, like we do with everything else."

Silence fell once more. Remus looked at Lily, and she gazed steadily back. She opened her mouth to speak, but Remus beat her to it.

"Okay," he said. "Okay. Lily …"

Lily's eyes flashed in understanding. "Yes, Remus?"

"I …I go out a few times every month, and I come back bruised and beaten. You are my friend, and I think you should know why."

Lily reached out and touched his arm. "Remus …"

He looked over at her, and then he bit his lip and turned away. In a low voice, he muttered, "Lily, I'm a werewolf."

Lily blinked back tears and looked up at the stars. "Remus, I know."

Remus sighed, knowing what came next. "So now we – we shouldn't be friends, right?"

Lily's next question seemed to come from nowhere. "Does Dumbledore know?"

Remus tilted his head and uttered a "What?"

How would that information help anyone?

Seemingly ignoring Remus' confusion, Lily hurtled straight on, not even pausing to breathe.

"If he knows you're a werewolf – which I'm sure he does – he would've thought of this already. He could never risk Hogwarts or its students, not even a tiny bit. So he must know what you've chosen to ignore – that during the vast majority of the month, you're not dangerous – or at least no more so than any other boy your age. So we'll just see each other when you're not transformed. That should work just fine."

She finally took a long breath and straightened her back, clearly proud of herself.

Remus, however, squinted as though trying to understand something very difficult.

"Really?"

Lily smiled at him. "Really. So there you have it, incontrovertible proof that you can have friends. And why would I want to lose you? You don't know this, Remus, but you're a really good friend."

She hugged Remus with such force that it nearly knocked him off his feet.

At breakfast the next morning, Lily handed Remus a piece of paper. Remus glanced at it, and saw that it was filled with handwritten notes about lycanthropy.

He looked up at Lily, aghast. "You didn't do all this research last night, did you?"

Lily smiled and shook her head. "Some of it – yes. Most of it – no."

Remus looked up at her. "How long have you known?"

Lily shrugged. "Awhile."

"And until now…"

"I never said anything. Until I could tell it was hurting you not to tell me, it didn't really matter. So I researched it, so I could help you when the time came."

He looked back down at the parchment. There were notes on the History of Lycanthropy, pain-relief charms, glamours to hide injuries. He turned the paper over. On the back was a list of excuses, both Muggle and wizarding, for his absences and subsequent unkempt appearances. Finally, Lily had written her schedule and had added, in a firm hand, "I expect you to find me."

Upon reading this, Remus looked up at Lily again. But there was nothing there; she had gone.


End file.
